just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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