You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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