i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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