and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
