I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
