I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I pour the whiskey from now on
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
