It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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