nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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