alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
