Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
