what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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