I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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