We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
