My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
