Define "chronic" masturbator.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
