so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
