Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
