Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
