Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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