I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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