So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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