it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
