Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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