I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
