i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
