It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize