You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
