Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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