you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
