You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
