They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
