its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Damn victory sex feels great
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
