Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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