i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just want to make out with him forever
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
