And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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