Can Purell be used as lube?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
