your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
