I want to make a zoo with you.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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