after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
