By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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