I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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