what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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