giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
