he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
