i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
