what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize