problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
