ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize