this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
