After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
We are all done wearing pants today
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
