fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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