he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I just found a bag of teeth...
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize