Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Randomize
