Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
