You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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