so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
