I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
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