Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
