Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
