If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
