Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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