I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
