carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?