Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(205): View more from Alabama

I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien

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(205): I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien http://tfl.nu/9idk

Replies (31) Good night (975) Bad night (3682)
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(512): View more from Texas

Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...

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(512): Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame... http://tfl.nu/p4qb

Replies (10) Good night (1036) Bad night (3291)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.

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(612): three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left. http://tfl.nu/3pzj

Replies (9) Good night (7535) Bad night (722)
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(317): View more from Indiana

he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed

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(317): he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed http://tfl.nu/zklq

Replies (12) Good night (6411) Bad night (894)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit

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(405): You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit http://tfl.nu/wkkh

Replies (8) Good night (2244) Bad night (926)
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(248): View more from Michigan

he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.

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(248): he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg. http://tfl.nu/hgt4

Replies (24) Good night (1209) Bad night (4933)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?

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(732): Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra? http://tfl.nu/estf

Replies (10) Good night (2614) Bad night (608)
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(256): View more from Alabama

The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...

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(256): The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving... http://tfl.nu/0z2j

Replies (17) Good night (1584) Bad night (1628)
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(805): View more from California

I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.

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(805): I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it. http://tfl.nu/eeuf

Replies (4) Good night (735) Bad night (1260)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.

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(423): Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina. http://tfl.nu/4jzk

Replies (6) Good night (1642) Bad night (405)
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(513): View more from Ohio

I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?

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(513): I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am? http://tfl.nu/htrk

Replies (12) Good night (1195) Bad night (567)
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(417): View more from Missouri

After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing

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(417): After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing http://tfl.nu/he4t

Replies (11) Good night (1060) Bad night (347)
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(+49): View more from Germany

Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?

(913): View more from Kansas

DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE

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(+49): Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in? (913): DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE http://tfl.nu/84k7

Replies (3) Good night (937) Bad night (210)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(

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(832): i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :( http://tfl.nu/r8m8

Replies (5) Good night (384) Bad night (282)
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(254): View more from Texas

I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.

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(254): I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious. http://tfl.nu/40vt

Replies (1) Good night (532) Bad night (140)

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