How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
It's a yes or no question.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.