Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
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The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
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He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.